Sooner or later we all have to reach that point where we’re willing to talk about things we couldn’t achieve and those we avoided, because they were too “complicated” for alcoholics like ourselves. And we talked about one of those today. We talked about love.
I know from my own personal experience that love was one of those things I was not comfortable with, when I came in. I know love was one of those things I knew nothing about Especially when I launched my drinking heavily. In fact, if the truth be known, I never really grew up.
So here I was in this program and my old sponsor had me enter into the Second Step. And that opened the door to this spiritual way of life in here. It was then I found my Higher Power.
I had already begun the concept of hope in my life. It was the hope I was given, which helped me to surrender to the First Step. And that surrender was what freed me from alcohol. So hope began to become a part of my life. And that led me to start to have the faith I need to live a spiritual way of life. Hope and faith, were part of the three things I was led to believe in to live a spiritual way of life. The third was one that took my breath away. Love.
I couldn’t even begin to think that way. I mean I seemed to be able to hope and believe, but love? And then something happened, which would turn my whole life around. I was a year sober, when I was asked to help a new person get through their first meeting. They were terribly unable to sit still and top shaking. With the directions of an old timer, I was able to help this person. And that opened the door for me to begin to learn to help someone. Almost the beginning of a friendship. A change for me.
A year later the same thing happened that I was able to help open the door for another person. Again the beginning of a friendship. Not my comfort zone, but a start. And it was those two friends, who would open the door to the concept of love. Along with this I slowly began to recognize what was happening between myself and my old sponsor and his wife. And then more of those old timers, who were reaching out to help me to learn to stay sober. As difficult it was to learn to accept what it was that was being given to me, I slowly began to struggle to accept what it was. Love.
Today I can look back and clearly see what I was growing into. I was beginning to learn how to not only accept the love being offered to me, I was beginning to learn how to love others. It also meant that I had to stop hating myself and putting myself down. I had to learn to love myself in order to be able to love someone else. Took time, but it has worked. And I look back at those two friends who grew to love me and helped me along the way to accept this. We still are friends today after all this time and we still love one another. And that love has spread.
Hope, faith, and love are now part of my life. I know that love for me often begins with compassion I’m willing to freely give to those, who are new and need help. And over time in here it begins to turn to friendship and love. I need to thank my Higher Power, this program, and the people in it, who have shown their love for me. I am grateful. I know it’s part of my living a sober life in here. Staying sober a day at a time. Love it.