A friend of mine wrote me today to inform me of his sister’s doctor’s analysis. Seems she is on the edge of a disease taking her life. I could understand his thoughts and feelings. Been there with family and friends many times.
I think the first thing we all have to do is to back off and ask our Higher Power for help. Then the Serenity Prayer. Acceptance of what we cannot change. In other words I had to come to peace within myself. I wasn’t in charge. I was just to be present and practice compassion. To bring peace and love into the situation the best I could.
The first thing I know is that we have to be able to stay in touch with those who help us in this program to stay sober a day at a time. My first thought is that I have to be able to do for myself what is most important. Like I said, staying sober. And to get to meetings whenever I can.
Will this enter sadness into my life? Absolutely. After all I’m only human and not a saint. But I do need to pray and practice these Steps as best I can during the process in here. Like I was thinking, I have been through this many times. Father, mother, brothers, and many more family members, plus friends in and out of the program.
I know I have sat and held hands with them, while they were closing the door to life. Did it affect me? Yes. But I wasn’t there for me. I was there for them. Just like our Twelfth Step. I had to get out of my own way and do what I needed to do to express thoughts of love and caring. To be willing to say what I needed to. Learned that in here with old timers, who were at the last door in their lives. Most I remembered had quiet smiles. Again amazing.
Anyway I let my friend know I was willing to support him in any way he needed me. Again, sharing our lives with one another. Our sobriety. Being open and honest.
It always reminds me of putting Steps like the Eleventh and Twelfth into action. But it also means to stay in the present and not go down the road before we arrive there. No projections. Just acceptance of the present moment. Anything else can throw us off center. To maintain hope, faith, and love within.
Anyway, it’s still for all of us to remember why we are here, despite what is going on. And that’s for us to stay sober a day at a time. No matter what, to remain grateful for all we have received. And to share with others and ourselves what is going on. I certainly got a lot of help from other alcoholics in here. I didn’t have to go to meetings and talk about what was going on. My friends already knew. I know I needed to hear what it was I needed in my life to continue to stay sober and grow along spiritual lines. I look back and am so grateful.