Along the way in growth in here, I had to learn how to do this program a day at a time. And time takes time. So, in trying to deal with things, which have given me problems, I had to go through a process. Not an overnight event. Each growth took time and often kept changing, always for the better. By the time I had often reached, where I needed to go, I would find myself in a process of growth. From one place to another, until I was able to arrive at a place I needed to be. Not easy to describe.
And one place I finally found out I needed to be, going through changes over and over, I found myself in the Tenth Step. And I slowly began to find out what it was I needed to do, which definitely woke me up. And that was the spiritual axiom, that whenever we’re disturbed there’s something wrong with us. That took time.
It didn’t happen right away, but I began to learn that I had to step back and stop blaming others and deal with myself. For instance why was I disturbed? What was my problem? And over time I began to learn that I often was trying to blame others and to believe I was right and others were wrong. Instead I began to learn, that I often blamed others, in order to not blame myself. When I began to look at why I was having these problems, I discovered I was the one I needed to correct myself and not others. And that some of those I wanted to blame were not the cause of my problems.
And I also found out that the one virtue I had so much difficulty in bringing into my life began to grow from time to time. I found I had to get out of my own way and to deflate my ego. In other words, I began to learn how to be able to be humble. And I often found that I was in peace and happiness.
Anyway, we were talking about this today. At least I had to stop and think about this way of living and staying sober a day at a time. Once again I had to be grateful for what I had been given by my Higher Power and what this program had done for me.
And to thank all those, who had helped me to learn how to grow in here. Not just from the practice of these Steps, but the spiritual way of life.