One of the thoughts I was having today dealt with learning. I know that my old sponsor and those old timers helped me to learn and grow in this program and stay sober a day at a time. Never have forgotten this.
One of the initial things I had to learn was to put what I had learned before outside the door. I was told I had to come in and begin to learn. I mean I had come here with having studied theology, philosophy, and psychology, but I couldn’t use this. I had to step back and learn humility and begin to learn what this program is all about and how it works for someone like me. Took time, but over time I did.
Part of what was wrong I began to learn in here. I had to learn a way of speaking and how to listen to what was being said. I had to learn why I was here and how to grow and put into action how this program works for someone like me. Over time I discovered that my mind was filled with all these dark things, as a result of becoming an alcoholic. I can remember going back and seeing that I had a dark black hole within me. I had to empty that out and bring the light of a spiritual way of life in there. And being able to take what I was learning and sharing it with individuals like myself.
I had to learn how to stop being smug and thinking I knew it all. I had to learn how to begin to learn from others like myself, who had the experience I still needed to go through. And again, time takes time. I had to learn how to have patience and listen to others. To open my eyes and witness how this program was working for them and how it would work for me. And when that began I could remain simple and not complicated in what I was beginning to live.
Once again I had to begin to learn how to pray and have a spiritual way of life that I was beginning to live. I had to become open and have a “new” relationship with my Higher Power. I had to start to learn to have hope, and then faith, and finally love. Also I had begin to make sure I was practicing these virtues each and every day.
So, one day at a time became for me where I am right now. Staying sober. Not to go into the future, as my sponsor told me. I’m to remain right where I am right now and go no further than where I am at the moment, or end up in mental and emotional mess.
Anyway I am very grateful for what I was taught and what I learned in here. I need to say thanks to my Higher Power, and to all those old timers, my old sponsor, and the alcoholics today, who continue to help me.