Today I was reading the 24 Hour a Day book, which was telling me what I needed to remember. That Steps Two, Three, and Eleven remind me of what it is I need to do. To turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power. Hopefully I’m doing that. Not always sure.
And I say that, because, when I came into this program, I really was not aware that this was a spiritual program. In fact, even though I prayed and gave my God my alcoholism, and hopefully everything else, I forgot. And it was my sponsor, who helped me to enter into the Steps beyond that First One. And they were what helped me to begin a spiritual way of life. And that changed me. I was able to get my life turned around.
I know all the literature, as well as the members, are aware that we are not saints. We’re human alcoholics and subject to defects and negative emotions, even though we pray, meditate, and go to meetings, which remind us of what it is we need to do. In fact I can never forget that statement in the BB, which tells us that we might be put in a position, where we will have no mental defense against alcohol. And that did happen to me.
The night that happened, which was a crazy moment, my wife told me to step out the door and pray to my Higher Power. I did and the craziness left. I never drank. It was amazing to me. I have never drank since I came in and I am grateful that I got the help I needed. But it definitely helps me to stay aware and relate to my Higher Power and those in here.
And, of course, I continue to try to remember that I’m here to serve the God of my understanding and remain united to this way of life. I still keep reminding myself that I’m here to stay sober a day at at time. I do know that I need to remain faithful and to do what I need to. To remain faithful and seek to do the will of my concept of my God. And to stay faithful and united to this program and those in it, who have helped me along the way. To have compassion and love for others and freely give to the new person. And it is always right now. I just need to pray and remember that. Makes me grateful.