I couldn’t help but think today, as we talked about the Eleventh Step, about a number of things. The first was how clear this Step is. Just the wording of the Step itself makes it very clear what we are supposed to be doing. But, why do it at all?
Sought through prayer and meditation to seek a conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. It’s all right there. And the question? How about the answer.
We have but a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. For me that pretty much tells me why I need to continue to practice these principles each and everyday for the rest of my life. And if I don’t know how to pray or meditate, for me I think it’s a no brain-er. I better get busy, if I want to stay sober.
All of this is for me premised on the HOW of this program. Honesty, Open mindedness, and Willingness. Particularly the latter two. The first will be no question, if I will use that Tenth Step. But the other two?
First an open mind is so necessary for this alcoholic. I don’t need any more restrictions on my thinking, which will close my mind off from anything. A rigid prejudice. I had all those, when I came in. A negative view on a higher power, the subject of God, and the spiritual life in general. Everyday, hopefully I will find a broader view of life, this world, and the program. Especially my relationship with my higher power.
But willingness is absolutely essential. What do I intend? I intend to try to improve my conscious contact. And that takes willingness. I was told all I needed was the intention and my willingness. I don’t have any expectations, when I start. I was told to forget that. The same with results. I was told and I believe that if I get “results” they will be manifestations of my ego. I was told just to pray, “Thy will, not mine”, and then to learn to sit quietly in silence. After a set time, to get up and say “thank you”, maybe a brief prayer, and get on with the day.
That’s my way and probably no one elses. I’m not here to teach or preach. This isn’t religion. It’s purely a spiritual way of life. That open mind should tell us that it doesn’t matter what we think or believe. It’s up to each of us to find our own thoughtful concept of whatever it is that works for us. I’m not here to criticize or proselytize. Just be a part of. It’s open for everyone regardless, as long as I’m an alcoholic. Spiritual pride has no place in here, as Bill W. pointed out.
Anyway, just some stuff I was thinking.