I can’t express enough gratitude for meetings. Today’s meeting was no exception. It was when one woman brought up the subject of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, and tired).
What it did for me and so many others I know was to remind us all of our frailties. Our shortcomings. Our defects and what to do about them.
The first thing I was reminded of was that I have to pay attention to the fact that my defects are always going to be present. The second thing was to be aware that there are physical conditions, which can lead to positioning my emotions in a very hazardous place. All of which can affect how I think and how I will react.
On the surface it may not seem all that crucial until I come to the realization we’re talking about sobriety. If I find myself overtired, or isolated and lonely, this can be the fuse, which anger can ignite and cause an explosion. All it takes is the right or wrong circumstances to set my emotions off and lose control.
How often I have had to be told that it’s my emotions, which are the enemy. When they’re in control they can well determine what I think and how I will react to anything which stimulates them to arise within me. And when that happens, depending on the circumstances, my sobriety can be put in danger.
Bill W. and others have talked about emotional sobriety and how we need to become emotionally mature. To grow up and be responsible for how we think and how we act. The old saying around the rooms at one time was that it’s the I over the E. Intellect over the emotions. But when I’m overtired, lonely, too hungry, and too angry, I’m vulnerable.
The answer is of course, take care of ourselves and try to avoid getting into such a state. But sometimes it’s unavoidable and that’s when I have to remember that I’m supposed to be leading a spiritual life and have to go to these Steps and follow directions from a sponsor and some of the other people I have met in these rooms.
And, again, of course, I have to remember that I’m not cured and that I’m an alcoholic and often times my old ideas and old ways of acting are right under the surface. One of the things suggested today was to go back to the first three Steps. Especially Step Two.
Anyway, it was a great meeting with a lot of reminders that I needed to hear. How easily I can get over involved in so many others things and forget what I just heard. I have to thank my higher power for all that I have been given. Sobriety and the program and the people in it, who are so willing to gather daily and bring to my attention all those things, which help me to stay sober a day at a time.