It’s a mystery. I feel like I’m stepping over the line here. I’ve never read anything like this in the BB or any of the AA literature, but talking to friends, they said the same thing.
AA and how it works is a mystery to me. The longer I’m in this program, the longer I stay sober, I can say, as others have said to me, how does it work? It just does.
The evidence of this is all around us. I’ve seen people come and go in this program. Why they go and don’t stay, with all that the program has to offer them, I don’t know. Then I’ve seen others come in with all kinds of problems, some of which are really profound. Yet they stay and are changed by this program. Their “profound problems” seem to have been taken care of in spite of the depth of them.
It’s pretty obvious to me that it’s the spirtual nature of this program, which is responsible for all of this. I believe this is what changed me and brought me to where I am today. But that’s what continues to amaze and baffle me. All I have ever done is to practice these 12 Steps, like so many others, and follow directions. And even that process in my life has been less than perfect. Far less.
All I have really done are the Steps, gone to meetings, listened and shared, carried the message, whenever I could, and tried to honor and follow the Traditions. Except for the early struggles with my attitude and annoying all the old timers, balking, and silently rebelling against the process, the program has become less of a struggle and more simple as time has gone on. Oh, and more importantly, I haven’t taken a drink. I haven’t missed alcohol or even desired it.
I have received so many rewards in this program, none of them material, that I cannot describe them all. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to share these with the new man or woman, so that they wouldn’t ever have to go back out and suffer the consequences of that next drink? But that’s not always possible.
Anyway, after talking to a number of people in the program today, I felt compelled just to sit down and think about this. I remember an old timer, who had come in near AA’s beginning, who once said that the longer he was sober the less and less he knew how it works. I can’t help but agree. It’s a mystery.