There are times, when I sit down to contemplate, and nothing comes to me. I pick up the literature and scan and nothing. I recall meetings and still nothing. Tonight is one of those nights. Yet I feel something missing.
Earlier I was thinking about spirituality. The spiritual life. I know that spirituality has to do with my own private relationship with my higher power. I was reminded of that yesterday, when three of us were discussing this.
Bill W. once wrote that one of his most painful memories came early on in AA. He had his own concept of God, stemming from his spiritual experience in the hospital. As he introduced new people into what was to become AA, he tried to get others to believe as he believed. The result was that he drove a number of them away from the program. He said it was the result of his spiritual pride. So, when the BB was written, it was stressed that whatever our concept of a higher power was to be was up to each individual to find for themselves.
“God could and would, if he was sought.” Seeking God is so important. Whatever the result of that search, the BB says is all right, “as long as it makes sense to him”. The beginning of the spiritual life. I know we’re not here to preach or try to convert anyone to our way of thinking.
I have my own thoughts. Sometimes when talking to individuals I am aware of the differences in our thinking and that’s all right. Other times I find some with the same thoughts I have and that’s fine. Sometimes I find myself in the company of agnostics. That’s okay with me. The important thing is that we’re all sober and practicing the Steps to the best of each of our individual abilities. What we have in common is the program. Our own stories. Our own experiences. I find that all of us are willing to do whatever it takes to help another alcoholic get sober. In the end, we are all the same, trying to do the same thing everyday. We are members of a fellowship.
It’s that very thing, what we have in common which helps us stay sober. The maintenance of our spiritual condition. How? The 12 Steps tell me how to do that. Like my sponsor showed me, it’s all there in black and white in the BB.
Anyway, I think I’ve made something out of nothing. Just the memory of our conversation yesterday came to mind. It also reminds me of how the three of us are dedicated to this program and staying sober. I am grateful for such companions along the way.