Sometimes I think about what it is that works for me in this way of living sober. Of course, depending on my own thinking can be hazardous I know.
What I was thinking about today was being quiet. Stepping aside from all distractions and just listening and not putting my two cents into anything. Being silent for a few minutes. Resting in the 11th Step and renewing or refreshing my spirit for the rest of the day.
How often I have not done this and gone out into the world unarmed. Unprepared for the day and have fallen into all kinds of my own traps. Allowing others to penetrate my mind with minor irritations which can grow and develop into anger and resentments. How I can blow things up all out of proportion, so as to frustrate whatever good intentions I might have had for another day in sobriety.
I was thinking how small an effort it takes to pull aside for a few moments out of the day in front of me and rest in the solitude of making an attempt to make a conscious contact with the God of my understanding. My excuses are often I haven’t got time. I wonder what makes me do that. Selfishness and self centeredness, of course.
My time is too valuable.
I think it was my sponsor, who once said to me, if you haven’t got time, make time. When you’re too busy, you’re too busy. Pretty harsh, don’t you think?
Today I found that I was “busy” with “my busyness”. That bothered me, because there really wasn’t anything I had to do. I thought to myself, if you really intend to practice this program today, why not stop and step aside? Or, as one man once said, when you have nothing better to do, why not say a prayer or take time to meditate?
Seek God’s will for me and ask for he power to carry it out. So, I did.
Anyway, just thinking about this. After all, it’s part and parcel of a spiritual way of life. And it is this spiritual way of life that is the solution to my alcoholism.