Last night I was reminded of sponsorship. Every time I think of that, I think of my old sponsor Tom. I thought of him often over the years and still do today. I often tell others what he said to me. I think of him as a wise man, a spiritual man; an example of what sobriety is all about. He taught me what humility was, not by words, but the way he lived his life.
Bill W., someplace in the literature, remarked on sponsorship, saying it was the half blind leading the blind. In my case that might be closer to the mark than he knew, when he said it.
My first sponsor was rugged, tough, and not so much on the BB and the Steps. What he did for me was show me how to work with other alcoholics. He was always taking me out on 12th Step calls, almost everyday of the two years I had him for a sponsor. He never said much to me, but he was active and an example that nothing would insure my sobriety more than working with others. After two years he drank again and the alcohol killed him.
That’s when my seconds sponsor stepped up to the plate. He told me that I had a choice. To follow my first sponsor or to get sober.
He was the one I stuck with after that for about twenty years. From him I learned what it was to be sober and live a sober life.
Along with Tom’s guidance, I was introduced to another man, who had long term sobriety, who Tom also sponsored. He became a co-sponsor for me and helped me a lot by word and example. His name was Herb and he was not easy. That was true of a lot of men I knew back then. But he gave me what I needed.
Why do I admire these men so much? Because of me. I was not easy to get along with. I had too much education and intellectual pride. As Tom said to me one day, that I was educated beyond my intelligence. They began the process for me of ego deflation in depth. They taught me how to listen. But most of all, they showed me by example how to live this program.
Oh, that’s right, I began this to write about sponsorship. I guess I really don’t know all that much about it, except what I learned from these men. I only know what they did and bumbling and fumbling, half blind, I have tried to follow their example, when the opportunity shows itself to work with others. All I know is that if I can pass their work with me on to others, that maybe that’s what sponsorship is all about.
Those men are gone now. They both lived this program and died sober deaths. I am ever grateful to the God of my understanding that I had the opportunity to have these men in my life. I hope I will always be grateful to them for all they gave to me. I believe they saved my life.