One of the things I had to think about today was the unmanageability in the 1st Step. How easy it is to ignore that aspect of our disease. After all, the reason I came here was alcohol. Although I understood my life was unmanageable, it wasn’t primary on the list. Alcohol dominated my thoughts.
We were basically talking about this today in the meeting. People having problems with their thoughts and emotions after a period of time in the program. They weren’t drinking, but disappointed with the results they were getting in trying to live a sober life. Doing the same thing over and over again and restless, irritable, and discontented. Looking for an instant answer to their problems.
How about an unmanageable life? And what’s the answer for that? It sounds difficult, but it really isn’t. It’s putting this program into action. Working the 12 Steps into our lives. I had all this stuff happen to me early on, and I found that it was only when I began to work these Steps, that the answers started to come.
Two things I learned from these experiences. One is that there are no quick and easy answers. Time takes time. However, the second thing, is what I was always told by my sponsor, it takes action. Nothing happens when nothing happens. My sponsor told me that.
That’s when I began reading and writing my first 4th Step.
But, before I did that, I asked my sponsor what I was going to get if I did that? He just said, “Just do it and you will find out.” That’s the way I was back then. Looking for results before I did anything. Kind of like looking for the prize before running the race.
And what were the results? I know what they were for me. It was the beginning of turning my whole life around. Without really knowing it at the time, it brought an almost instantaneous relief from all that was plaguing me.
I found that written in the BB, where it tells us that this is a program of spiritual action, and just sitting around and resting on what we have at the moment is going to lead to trouble. That’s pretty much what my sponsor told me. All I had to do then was to look around and see the evidence of those who were walking the walk and not just talking the talk. Men and women, who put their primary purpose into action in their daily lives. And they did it just a day at a time. I knew them and knew what they were about. I could have what they had, if I just did it.
It is easy for me to look back and see where others are missing the mark. I know what I have and always want that for others. But just me saying this won’t change a thing. All I can do is to offer my experience, strength, and hope. The rest is up to them. But, I do hope and pray that everyone of us gets the message and remains sober and lives a happy and fulfilling sober life.
Just thinking about learning to walk the walk and staying sober today.