I was thinking about why I like being sober and why I stick with this program. I would have to say, from my own experience and that of others, that it’s what this way of life has given to me.
Before I came here, the only peace and serenity I ever knew of was when I was passed out from drinking. And then I would come to and all hell would be in my body, my head, and my life. Today I experience peace of mind and serenity while fully awake and aware of what is going on around me. When I first began to experience this, as I was going through the process of the 12 Steps, I realized that AA was the best thing that ever happened in my life.
I used to think that freedom from alcohol was enough for me. But after a while I found out it wasn’t enough. I was glad I wasn’t drinking, but it was obvious I wasn’t happy. There was something missing from my life. I didn’t really know what that was until I read the chapter We Agnostics in the BB. That’s when I found the solution to what was wrong with me. I lacked a higher power to help me deal with my alcoholism. I wasn’t drinking, but I was still powerless over my alcoholism and I needed help to live this life sober. Not drinking and not yet sober.
Then I took the rest of the Steps into my life and began to see the problem. The real problem. It was me. I had been in the way of any chance of living a happy and fulfilling life. I not only needed a higher power to help me, but I needed to come to know just who and what that higher power was and begin a real relationship with the God of my understanding. That process began back then and is still going on today. It’s what I understand as the maintenance of my spiritual condition. I am content. But like my sponsor told me, it’s all right to be content, but never satisfied.
So, that’s really what I was thinking about today.
As I sat in the meeting today, I looked around at all the others like me and was at peace with myself and them. I listened, as they talked. The subject didn’t really matter. It is always about sobriety and how to stay sober and live this spiritual life daily. They are part of my higher power. I felt at peace and knew I was experiencing serenity and living a sober life today.