I guess to be on the beam is to be maintaining our spiritual condition. Being off the beam is to miss the mark. Bill W. used that term, as I was told, as a plane coming in on a radio beam. If the pilot got off the beam, he could crash. Staying on the beam means a safe landing.
Anyway, I was thinking about this in relation to a mental conflict I found myself in yesterday. I know I was off the beam. Wrapped up in my own mind I found myself flying blind, as they say.
The cause is not important. What was important was that it was all about me. And, when it’s all about me, my primary purpose drifts into the background. The “beam” is lost. And that beam is spiritual in nature. My job yesterday, as it is today, to get back on the beam.
In other words, I was disturbed. That’s the spiritual axiom in the 10th Step. Whenever I’m disturbed there is something wrong with me. My job was to get undisturbed. And that’s where an examination of what was going on came in. I won’t go through the list, but the important thing for me was that I was able to focus and get out of the rut I found myself in yesterday.
In moments like that, I am not thinking sober. My old way of thinking is back, usually followed by old acting out. Thanks to my higher power and what I had been instructed to do by my sponsor, I was able to reach out to another alcoholic. In just that action the problem began to melt away.
As in most of my “problems”, the solution is always spiritual. I know if I take care of the spirit within me, nothing but good follows.
Anyway, I was thinking about this this evening and grateful for this way of life that has been opened to me.