This is a special day, as all of them are. It’s another day for me to remind myself of my primary purpose. To stay sober.
Yesterday, in meditation, I noticed that I really had forgotten that I was an alcoholic. I don’t mean that I have to be walking around thinking that every minute of the day, but just be aware of it. It just wasn’t there. But then, I hadn’t gone to a meeting yesterday to be reminded of my state in life.
Later on in the day I was drawn up quickly back to the reality of who and what I am. Though I was too far away to attend, there was a funeral in another state for a young person, a long time friend, who had died of alcoholism. I received a call from another friend who had attended. I also corresponded with another alcoholic about this. Alcoholism was in sharp focus by the end of the day.
It was another reminder to me that I’m still powerless over alcohol. Lest I forget, I need to do the basics of this program daily to maintain the spiritual condition the BB talks about, if I want to stay sober. I know how easily I can sway myself with my thinking into how unimportant it is to do what is necessary each day.
Complacency can set in very quickly after time. And complacency, like speed, can kill.
Complacency can open the door and let in fear, worry, anxiety, and a host of other thoughts, which can become my primary focus. I have been there before and know how I can find myself far away from the help I need. All these things can further lead to anger, frustration, self pity, and despair. The perfect set up for that next drink.
Only by prayer, talking to another alcoholic truthfully, asking for help, and listening to the counsel of others can I become willing to do what I must to get back on track. If I truly believe in the 1st 3 Steps, this I know I must do to stay sober.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today.