It never tires me to think of the solution to my alcoholism. That’s why I will bring up the 2nd Step at a meeting and often think of it over time.
I think to myself of how many years alcohol was my higher power. It was so powerful that I couldn’t tear myself away from a barroom to go home, when I knew that’s where I belonged with my family. I was powerless to be a husband and a father. Alcohol got between myself and my work life. It was a constant interference in every aspect of my life. It was my life.
When I came here I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. All I knew was that I had to get away from alcohol or die. Everything else was a complete puzzle. Then I got a BB and began to read it. First I saw what this disease was about and began to understand a little of what was wrong with me. But then, when I finally read the fourth chapter, I really got hit right between my eyes. It told me that I lacked power and I was going to have to get a power greater than myself, if I wanted to stop drinking. I needed something greater and more powerful than alcohol.
That was the solution. That was the 2nd Step. I had to come to believe that this higher power could restore me to sanity and then work the rest of the Steps to realize the reward, which would come by doing them. I would be free, a new freedom, from what had been holding me in bondage for so many years of my life.
Today I could look back in gratitude at this gift which has been given to me. The thoughts I just had can hardly express what this Step has meant to me. I just have them.