Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. I’ve heard those words many times, since I have been in this program. They’ve meant a lot to me through the years and have gotten me through some pretty rough patches in this program. They have helped me to stay sober.
A few of us were sitting outside of the place the meeting took place today and we were talking about this. In fact, one very spiritual man came to mind, as we were talking. He said that we were made for happiness, but the problem with us is that we’re always looking in the wrong places for happiness. The result is that we end up in pain and often suffer from the frustration and anger at not achieving that happiness we sought.
I could certainly identify with that. I was always seeking happiness in and through booze. And, when alcohol turned on me, I went through a lot of pain and certainly a lot of suffering as a result. When the pain got too much and the suffering unbearable, I finally found this program. The pain stopped, as did the suffering, because I got sober.
What I found here was help, when in sobriety I was in pain. I found that I didn’t have to suffer. That was because of my higher power, expressing itself through the “we” of this program. I found by talking to others honestly about what was going on, I was relieved of having to suffer. The result was that I didn’t have to drink.
Suffering I found is an additional burden I add to whatever pain I’m going through. It’s me who does this. My thinking, which adds weight to the pain. My emotions. My character defects. Suffering is due to my extreme self centeredness, because it’s all about me.
That’s because of my old habits returning. The wanting to isolate and keep this to myself. Like a wounded old bear, crawling back into my cave. Full of self pity and resentment that whatever is going on is happening to me. Me, me, me. What an invitation that can become!
But there’s another invitation, which comes into the mix. That what I can’t handle alone, we can overcome together. The solution. Believing in and having faith in a power greater than myself. Going to the winners in this program and sharing and letting them know what is going on with me. Whether one on one or in a group. It’s then, if I pray and ask for the willingness to be willing, that my mind is able to open up and allow me to hear the answers to what I so desperately need. And what I need is to stay sober one more day.
Anyway, I was thinking about this when I got home.