She wanted to drink. But she didn’t. I was listening to a young woman talk about her temptations today and found the response was what this program is all about. We talked about staying sober and what we can do about situations like this. All in the BB.
I couldn’t help but stop and think about how this is what I needed to hear today. It’s not that I had any thoughts along this line, but just listening and thinking about what was said today was a reminder of just what is wrong with me. I have a disease for which there is no cure. I’m an alcoholic and always will be. And, out of sight of my thoughts, is just what could be a possibility.
The BB tells me that there may come a time, when I will have no mental defense against that first drink. And it tells me that my sobriety will be dependent on my relationship with my higher power.
I didn’t say it in the meeting, but I did afterward. Back, when I was about as sober as this person, I did run into that lack of defense against the first drink. I remember that at the time this happened there was no warning. There I was with the booze in front of me and I was thinking, if anyone got in my way and tried to stop me, I would kill them. Fortunately for me, my wife was there and told me to step outside and say a prayer. That hadn’t even occurred to me, but I did. Thank God I did. The insanity passed, as quickly as it had come on.
I was sitting thinking about this woman and how fortunate we both were. Talk about gratitude. I owe my higher power and all those men and women, who went before me so much. And I have a debt of gratitude toward those, who were there today and spoke up, reminding me how fortunate I am.