A lot of thoughts running through my mind today, with the word “sobriety” leading them.
I thought about those first three Steps. The beginning of this new life I found. How much humility is spelled out in those Steps. Surrendering to being powerless, stepping aside to allow a power greater than myself into my life, and then turning my will and my life over to the care of a God of my understanding. The door to a spiritual way of living.
Everyday I awake sober these Steps must be the foundation of that day. A firm bedrock on which to place my feet. The protection and care I need to proceed into the day. If I want to lead a sober life. Sobriety is more than just not taking a drink. It’s a way of thinking and acting, no matter how imperfectly.
I was talking to a sober friend today and he commented on how nonspiritual he feels he is. We talked about imperfection, the result of being just another human being. Not just a human being, but an alcoholic, with all our imperfections.
We talked about how our spiritual life is based on trying and never giving up on trying. Like the 12th Step tells us, tried to carry this message and tried to practice these principles in all of our affairs. We try. And part of that for me is to attend meetings with other alcoholics like myself on a regular basis.
Of course there is the essential prayer life and meditation. The attempt to improve our relationship with our higher power. Failing and never quitting. Seeking. And my mind tells me that I have no idea of what God’s will is for me. I only know that, if I don’t drink and try to practice this program that just maybe I’m on the right track.
All I know is that I’m sober today and have been for a long time. Just the thought of my gratitude for being alive and sober is a testament to the power of this program and my higher power. And I have to constantly admit that I’m sober in spite of myself.
As I sit here this evening, I think how fortunate I am that I found this program. I owe everything I have to this way of living. My happiness, my contentment, my peace of mind, and my serenity. These are always with me, even when I’m not conscious of them. All I have to do is step back, take a deep breath, look at what’s happened over the years, and forget about my personal concerns and there they are.
Just being grateful for the best thing that ever happened to me.