One of the things I think about from time to time is spiritual in nature. The very foundation of my sobriety. Our sobriety, I should say. And that is anonymity.
The 12th Tradition tells us that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of this program. The very fact that, as individuals, we’ll honor the anonymity of our members.
However anonymity goes deeper than that. It is about me practicing, or trying to practice, humility on a personal basis. Avoiding any kind of publicity or self promotion for gains I definitely don’t need. Things which can lead me back to a swollen ego and back to a drink again. I know it’s happened to others and I don’t need to go there. It would not only mean another drunk, but most likely my death.
What’s hard to explain to others, “publicly” is that I’m not responsible for my sobriety. I know it means that it’s up to me to practice this program, the steps and awareness that a drink is always a possibility. After all, I’m not cured and never will be. But it’s clear to me that my sober life is dependent on the God of my understanding and my fellow alcoholics.
I know my personal physician is aware of my alcoholism and knows that I’m sober. That I don’t drink and attend meetings. He sometimes ask me. He says something like “that’s good” or “good for you”. Not me doc. I’ve never said that, but I’d like to. Tell him about the 2nd Step? The spiritual awakening? I don’t think so.
I was reading As Bill Sees It today and his thoughts on this matter. Probably no example is greater to me than that of Dr. Bob, when he was near the end of his life. His fellow alcoholics wanted to raise a monument in his honor. He not only refused the offer, but stated clearly that the headstones for he and his wife were to contain no mention of AA or his part in co-founding the program. Just their names and the date of birth and death. Humility, Bill said, was a way of life for him.
There are no leaders in this program. The highest office I know that I can seek is that of servant. I can only hope that I have been of service to my fellow alcoholics and the new man or woman. I hope that I still can.
Like I said, anonymity is one way of getting out of my own way. It teaches me how to honor the wishes of those around me. It helps me to keep quiet, something that often causes me a slight strain. Or maybe a major one. It’s part of my maintaining my spiritual condition. And that is one thing my sobriety is dependent on.
And, oh yeah, it’s about the 1st Tradition. What holds the program together, so that people like me have a place to go to in order to maintain our sobriety.
Just thinking about what helps me stay sober.