It’s amazing to me how one word can bring up a host of problems. That one word is what I have been reading about and thinking about for a long time now. And what is that word? It’s “now”.
Staying in the now is one of the most difficult things for me. I know it takes discipline to do that. And like I’ve read, discipline is one of the things I have lacked in my life. Not that I’ve ignored it, but it is a struggle.
My sponsor would always remind me to look and see where my feet were. To him that was where I was supposed to be at all times. Not way down the road in the future, but right here. Now. Not back in the past. But right here now.
I was talking to a man today, after he spoke up at the meeting today. He had years in and has gone out a few times since. He said he had gotten drunk about three days ago. He said he had forgotten about the moment and allowed himself to be influenced by a man he had drank with before. He said, if he had been in the now, he would have asked his higher power for help. It had always worked before, but he was someplace else and not here in the now, when he drank.
I always try to remember, when I’m praying or meditating that I’m supposed to be right here, now. But that’s where I struggle. I start out in the moment and then find my mind wandering around someplace else and have to continue to yank myself back into the present. It’s important I know. Like the BB says that eternal vigilance is the price of sobriety. That means to pay attention to what is going on right now.
Anyway, we were talking about staying sober today and staying in the now at the meeting today. I heard a lot of good things and they did help. A good reminder to me about why it’s necessary for me to go to meetings. I need the people in the program to help me stay sober. I heard a lot of that today. It makes me grateful that I’m able to attend meetings and it makes me grateful for my higher power and the people in these meetings. It’s one of the reasons I’m sober today.