One of the benefits of this program are the people in it. I know that I have been blessed by those, who have come to me over time, or called, or wrote me letters, or emails, wanting to talk about their problems. Or just wanting to talk. What I have discovered is that I don’t know what they get out of doing this, but I know what I have received. And, what it that? A real sense of joy and happiness.
Often times what they bring up applies to me. What it does for me is to allow me to go back and look at myself. Not while I’m listening and responding, but later, when I have time to stop and think about what went on during our conversations.
Memories of my sponsor working with me are a constant guide. I find myself often quoting what he told me. Passages from the BB often pop up in my mind. A Step or a number of Steps appear in my consciousness as we talk. The 12&12 and things I have read in other books enter in. It is a reminder of the wealth of knowledge, which has been given to me by others, who helped me to care for my sobriety. And then there’s always my own experiences with what we are addressing. My hope and my faith, which has come from being able to do something about these things.
I often remember how those in meetings the members will tell a newcomer how welcome they are to call them. How the real beneficiary of those calls is the person receiving them. How it helps their sobriety no matter how timid the person calling might feel. It’s not a bother, but a privilege for the person they are calling.
I understand that kind of thinking. Like I said, I don’t know how much help I am to others, but I do know how much I am helped. When a member calls me I know almost instantly that it’s not a one way street. The help or assistance goes both ways. To me it’s a two way street.
I was thinking about this today because of a number of things, which have gone on in the past month or so. As I sat in the meeting today, listening to those who shared, all this came to mind and I could feel a real sense of gratitude. I know that I am nothing special. I’m just another alcoholic, attempting to do what we all do. Trying to live this day in a sober way. A spiritual way of life. As imperfect as I find myself doing this, I try to remember what my sponsor told me. To never give up, but to keep on trying. So far it’s worked for me a day at a time.