Our group meeting at noon always reads from one of the meditation books. The one today started a great meeting for the group. It was about listening. That and the man, who brought up the 2nd Step. Most of them tied those two subjects together, as did I. How can anyone listen to the people in the room with a closed mind? That was me in the beginning.
I have a friend, who often says that the reason some never listen is that their ears are still drunk. Really? Hmm. Something to think about.
Most confessed that at the beginning they had a hard time listening. And some say they still find themselves wandering away in their minds. I know how that can be. But over time I have learned to stay in the “now”. Often I look directly at the person speaking. If I can, I never take my eyes off them. Especially, when they say things that I really need to hear, which is most of the time.
Thank my Higher Power for giving me the sponsor I had, because he did something for me, which has helped me to listen and pay attention over time. It was his insistance that got me to open my mind and heart. He led me through that 2nd Step, which gave me hope and that turned into faith over time. Because of that I have come to learn a lot of what I needed to know in order to work this program.
I know one man, who was really paying attention today. I talked to him after the meeting. He’s a man I have known for quite a while. He went back out and is just coming back. I know he was hurting badly and listened to almost everyone in there. He quoted a number of them. My hope is that he will keep coming back and listen.
Then there was a young person, who said the word “God” was giving her a lot of trouble. A lot of people did use that word over and over and were sometimes very specific. I stopped this person after the meeting and told her what I had learned. This is not a religious organization and we don’t have to believe anything specific. Only what makes sense to us.
I have to laugh at myself. How often I will hear someone say something like that and I think I need to say something. Who am I? What do I know? If my sponsor were here he would tell me that my problem was that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. Educated beyond my intelligence, he told me. And he was right.
Anyway, after listening to everyone today, I thought how fortunate I have been to be able to come to meetings and listen to the things I need to hear. Things I often forget and need to be reminded of. It’s just proof to me of how the people and the meetings have played such a large part in my staying sober. I need to remember how much I owe all those old timers and the people in the rooms. I am grateful to them and my Higher Power for my sobriety.
It was listening at my very first meeting that opened my mind that I might be an alcoholic. I was there to make sure my husband at the time went to the meeting. When I heard each person share I related to the feelings, the challenges, the clutch of their disease. What I could not relate to was the solution. Just don’t drink. Just don’t pick up. But I listened to them when they said keep coming back and here is where we go tomorrow night and here is where we go the next night…etc. Unfortunately I stopped listening and did relapse at 10 years sober. After six years in my disease which loves me to listen to it…I came back to AA and will remain grateful not only for the woman who led the meeting that night sharing from her heart exactly what I had been feeling but also for knowing that the solution works. It had worked in me as it had and does in so many. I go to one meeting where there are very few in attendance. Half the people get up – get coffee – go in and outside. It’s disturbing but I suppose there is much to listen to in that behavior as well as the messages being shared. And of course there is that deep moment of silence listening that allows me to listen to that thing I call God.
Thanks Ned. I would like to be in a meeting with you. I would like you to stop me on the way out and share your experience. I would like to listen to you.