One of the benefits of being at a meeting with a newcomer is what a great reminder it is for someone like me. Not only talking about the First Step for the benefit of this person, but in listening and telling my own experience, it takes me back to my last day drinking and what my bottom was like.
It tells me, if not the person sitting there listening, how I was able to accept my being powerless over alcohol so completely. How painful the end of my drinking was for me. And how I was able to surrender absolutely to my bondage with alcohol.
Talk about “keeping it green”, this kind of experience is what I need. I never want to forget that I don’t ever want to go back to where I came from. That came up in a conversation with a relatively “new” man in the program after the meeting. He’s been having his own struggles with staying sober. So that’s what we talked about. Staying sober and never ever going back to where we came from.
It was one of the paradoxes of the program, which I was able to practice. Giving it away in order to keep it. After that talk with him, I spoke to another alcoholic on how these kinds of things are a two way street. Am I helping? I don’t know. But I know one thing, I’m a beneficiary of such a conversation. I’m reminded and I am moved to gratitude for the opportunity, which has been presented to me.
Makes me reinforce the concept of my Higher Power, that I am given what I need to stay sober today. It also makes me happy and comfortable, because I was with sober alcoholics like myself. That’s what meetings do for me. Gives me the opportunity, not just of associating with them, but being able to listen to what I need. Brings my mind back into focus. For that too I am grateful.