Tonight a thought crossed my mind, when I heard an “old” song being played. “Who Can I Turn To?” was the name of that song. And what hit me was how true that song is, especially for someone like me. A chronic alcoholic.
I couldn’t help but think about that today. We had another person coming back from a slip. Can’t help but think how fortunate I am. Under other circumstances that might be me or anyone of us. Fortunately it hasn’t happened. And I think that’s because I have someone I can turn to. My Higher Power. And, oh yeah, so many others in this program.
Today we were practicing the Fifth Tradition, the group’s primary purpose, to carry the AA message to the alcoholic who still suffers. I may often tell how I got here, but I don’t always feel it’s time to introduce the idea of getting a Higher Power and learning to live a spiritual life. That’s a judgment call for me. However something came to me, as I was talking and I did briefly go into the Second Step.
I have to stop and think how often I have had to turn to my Higher Power on any given day at any given moment. I know that it’s changed my life. I go back now and think how it was before I came in and how it was early on before I did the Second Step. Makes me wonder how I ever got along without it. I know that I have gone through some awfully rough times in this program and I can’t help but think how grateful I am that I found this way of life.
In fact I have to go back and think how, when I turned to my Higher Power, the God of my understanding, that it was the very thing, which saved my life. There I was on the edge of despair, and having been handed some hope, after twenty or more years of drinking, I finally prayed and asked for the help I needed. In fact I begged my God to stop me from drinking…and he did. That’s when I came to this program. And after about a couple of years, I ran into trouble. The thought of alcohol had taken over my mind and I was close to taking a drink. And what saved me was I had someone I could turn to. And I did. It worked.
I sat here thinking about all of this and I can remember how many times I have run into difficulties in this program and always been able to answer that question, “who can I turn to?”. That Second Step, like I’ve always said, opened the door to this spiritual way of life and into this program. I have through this way of thinking and doing things found, not only peace of mind, but a new freedom and a new happiness. The serenity in the Serenity Prayer.
Anyway that song made me stop and take a moment to meditate on my Higher Power and all that I have been given in here. It’s the foundation, the basis, of my sobriety. My relationship with my Higher Power. Like everyone I have been able to build this relationship through the Twelve Steps and the action I’m willing to take to continue to change my life. Who can I turn to is no longer a question for me. Through the program, my sponsor, and these old timers, I have definitely found the answer.