Had to think about my old sponsor once again, when the topic for the meeting today was projection. Like my sponsor always told me to look at where my feet were and not to go any further than where I was at the moment.
What he and those old timers told me was that I was to remain in the day I was in and not go any further. And, of course, projection is one of the worst violations of that “suggestion”. And that’s because of the negative effect it has on the alcoholic, who begins to project into the future. From my own experiences and that of others I have talked to, what happens is that we end up being filled with negative emotions of all sorts. Guilt, fear, anxiety, anger, even rage, resentments and more. And we end up damaging ourselves with all of this projection.
Of course, I was told, that when we find ourselves in this condition that the thing I needed to do was stop and start my day over. To step aside, pray and ask for help, and then change my attitude from the negative to the positive. To smile and be gentle and courteous to those around me. The opposite of the state I was in prior to the moment of change. And, when possible, to share with my sponsor or another alcoholic what I was doing and going through, and then go to a meeting.
Of course the whole purpose of all of this is for someone like me to remind myself of why I am here. I’m here to stay sober one day at a time. I have to remember why I came here. I came here to stay sober and to remember I never ever want to drink alcohol again. And that’s exactly what projection does to us. It makes us lose my purpose of why I am here. In fact it can cause me to think about taking a drink again. Fortunately that’s never happened, but I know that it’s possible. And I’m sure that it’s happened to others, if they happen to be in a bad place to start out with.
I know that others shared about their thoughts on this, which were similar to that of others in the room. It’s a great reminder to someone like me to avoid allowing myself to drift into this kind of thinking. I know that we all have our weaknesses and that we’re never going to work this program perfectly. Like the BB tells us we’re not saints and we have our faults. And one of our old habits is just that. Projection and all the negative thoughts which go with that.
A friend of mine recently told me that he was upset and feeling guilty about something which led him into projection. I sure could identify, but I also remembered what I was told way back. And I had to share what I learned and had to practice to hopefully avoid falling into that trap. And, of course, one way was to begin my day and dedicating it to my Higher Power, the Eleventh Step. To once again commit myself and my thinking to why I am here. To stay sober this day. And then get to a meeting and listen.
Anyway I was glad we had this opportunity to share and think about what I need to do each and everyday. To remain in the day and take time out to think about my sobriety. And to be grateful for all I have been given. I know from my experience doing these things are part of what it is that works. Thinking back to what my old sponsor gave me and those old timers also does make me so grateful. I know what was given to me I need to share with others and hopefully we all will remain sober today. It’s part of this living a spiritual life, for which I also am grateful. Thanks.