One of the most difficult thing is to label problems we have. What’s the difference for instance between envy and jealousy? Both have a drinking problem within them. What’s that? Resentments.
I may envy someone who has something I want. It might be an award, or reward, or talent I don’t. On the other hand there is something like it in jealousy, which focuses more on possessions and relationships. But they’re the garden for growth of anger and eventually a dangerous slip back into alcoholic drinking again. And like the BB said, death. I’ve seen that too many times in here. In fact my first sponsor and a friend of mine went out that way back early on.
That’s one of the reasons the Tenth Step is so valuable to someone like me. When I find myself slipping into anger and resentments I know that I can get rid of them quickly. It was one of the things my old sponsor and those old timers helped me with. That was stopping my day and starting over. There are several ways of doing that. The easiest, of course, is attending meetings.
I know that I can go to a meeting and sit and be quiet and eventually pray and change my attitude from negative to positive. I can also do that outside of a meeting, no matter the time of day. All I have to do is to take a deep breath and step back and slip into another room and pray and ask for the help I need. Then to change my negative attitude into the positive. Smile and welcome those around me. Kind of a “Twelfth Step” in a sense.
I was thinking about this today because a friend of mine got in touch with me and asked about this stuff. It’s nothing new. Envy was at one time, like jealously, anger, and resentment, part of my defects. My faults. Steps Six and Seven. However since I am still human, a chronic alcoholic, I’m going to suffer from my imperfections. I know from experience that I’m going to fumble, stumble, and bumble in here. However, as my sponsor pointed out to me I was to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep on keeping on. Or start my day over.
That’s where a day at a time definitely comes in here. I’m to focus on where I am at the time and not project any further than where I’m sitting or standing at the moment. To ask my Higher Power for the strength and courage to change. To not allow myself to be stuck and not change.
Anyway I know that I need to stay sober this day. It’s the most important thing I can ever do. It’s why I am here and I know that definitely means to practice these spiritual principles in all of my affairs. If I do that I know I will be able to remain sober.
Grateful and need to say thanks for all I have been given.