There’s probably nothing more than today’s subject that I rarely would discuss in public. I know that from time to time I do with others in private and even those are generally loose and minimal. That’s because I want to avoid bringing things in, which are my own business and not someone else’s. And what’s all this?
Prayer and meditation. The Eleventh Step, leading into the Twelfth.
I often think about this subject, but always alone. My prayers make me always think about a favorite prayer I go back to from time to time because it sounds like me. It was a prayer by the Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton a while back. In it he tells how he doesn’t see where he’s going and doesn’t know where the road ahead of him ends. Then he wrote a sentence, which described me. “Nor do I know myself and the fact that I think I’m doing your will does not mean that I’m actually doing so.”
Anyway I try to start my day with prayer and meditation. It’s the beginning always of me dedicating my day and my life to stay sober a day at a time.
My prayers are my thoughts and my words. My meditation is silence. Prayer I learned was talking to my Higher Power and meditation, contemplation in this case, is listening to Him.
In fact I was reminded today of meetings I have gone to, where most of the time in the meeting was spent in mediation. Interesting. And most helpful to this alcoholic.
Some of the meditations I go into are my writing them. Insuring this wandering mind that I will stay focused on what I’m thinking. Mostly I do that when I’m focusing on my life’s purpose. Staying sober a day at a time. The same reason I go to meetings.
All of this is a reminder of the purpose to grow along spiritual lines. I’ll stop here and think of how grateful I am for what this program has done for me. First it has kept me away from a drink a day at a time. Not that I think about a drink, except when we discuss it. The other is that it saved my life. According to my history drinking I should have been dead a long time ago. Reminds me of those two miracles.
All this is a reminder of what it is I’m supposed to be doing. To put this spiritual life into practice in all my affairs. Really for me the Twelfth Step. Enough.