Today we talked about one of our biggest problems. Something we all had to admit was difficult, but often led us into trouble. And what was that? Minding our own business…and not that of someone else.
I looked back at that and knew that it’s all about me. Like I’m all that important. The truth is that it’s our over sized egos trying to control things. If I was honest with myself, I would listen to my old sponsor and his wife, who had around 57 years in this program, when she passed away. She was the one, who told all of us near her, to put ourselves as number one. She said that no one can stay sober for us. We have to do that ourselves and concentrate on doing this. Staying sober a day at a time.
Of course if I’m minding my own business, I can easily stay focused on myself. It’s when I stumble over my over sized faults in here that I forget and find myself poking my nose where it doesn’t belong, thinking I can change whoever and whatever. And that’s where I need to stop and ask for help. Mainly from my Higher Power. And, of course sharing with someone else.
My biggest problem is self justification. Thinking I know best. And, if I’m honest with myself, none of that is true. The spiritual axiom in that Tenth Step, whenever we’re disturbed there’s something wrong with us. Me. And not take the inventory of someone else.
Anyway I needed to stop and think about this. I know the answer, just have to pay attention to what I’m thinking and doing, and not wander off into someplace else. It’s the Serenity Prayer all over again and again. I need to be grateful and to stay sober today.