What was so important today was the subject of being a dry drunk. And, of course, the dry drunk is the one who often goes back out again and just as often never gets back, unfortunately.
However what was a stand out to me was the BB and what I learned from all those old timers. And that began with two things. One was what Dr. Carl Jung said to that young man, who had asked him, after he had gone back out and drank again. The young man asked if there was any hope for him. Jung said “No”. He told the young man that he suffered from a “chronic” disease.
I remember when I read that it hit me right in the stomach. I knew what he said applied to me. I too was a chronic alcoholic. No one had to tell me that. The truth was right there on that page. But I was in a place where there was an answer for the chronic alcoholic. I needed that spiritual awakening the young man was told he needed to seek. He did and got sober, then passed it on to Ebby, who passed it on to Bill W., who passed it on to Dr. Bob, and so on and so on, until it reached us.
The next thing was what dragged people like us down into “dryness” in this program. And, if I would stop and think about it, the answer to this is clear. It’s what those old timers taught me years ago. And that was the “I” over the “E”. Intellect over my emotions.
One thing was always my anger. The other was my resentments. My First sponsor and another alcoholic proved that to me. They both went back out on resentments, drank again and died. That was a wake up call for this alcoholic. And that’s when my new sponsor told me what I needed to hear. That I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. He opened me up to the honesty I desperately needed.
That’s when I was introduced to the Second Step and this spiritual way of life. The rest of this program. And along the way I began to hear just how dangerous my negative emotions were to this chronic alcoholic. Anger, fear, worry, resentments, anxiety, despair, and on and on. I had to learn how to deal with these. As my sponsor told me that I needed to think with my head and not my heart, which could get me drunk and dead.
I had to learn to pay attention, to grow in hope and faith. To learn to pray, when I got hit with these, and ask for the help I needed. And to learn how to turn these over to my Higher Power. To be able to give them up and walk away with a positive attitude rather than negative.
Anyway, I had to stop and think about all of this. It has worked in my life. Not that I don’t still have problems. Like the BB says, I’m human and not a saint. But I have had to learn to wake up and do what the Ninth Step tells me. That the spiritual life is not a theory. I have to live it.
Once again I’m reminded that I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. My coming to meetings, listening, and sharing. Accepting the help I get from all those around me. Continuing to hope and have faith in my Higher Power. Then to freely give what was freely given to me. Makes me grateful.