Today I was filled with what I definitely needed. The program of AA. What I had been given to get me sober and keep me sober. Three things. Fear, faith, and the First Step.
When I was starting my day this morning, I picked up the 24 Hour a Day Book on today’s date. And there it was: the First Step. That took me back to the beginning to get sober. I had known nothing about this program or what it was about. So, I definitely knew nothing about the Twelve Steps or the spiritual way of life.
In fact, as I thought about the subjects today, fear and faith, I was reminded of what I had gone through. I was in despair that day. My insides were black. Dark inside. I was desperate. Fear. I couldn’t go on and I was on my way to commit suicide. Alcohol had driven me down that far.
That’s what got this friend of mine, with whom I drank, to tell me what he had heard the day before, from a man I later learned was from AA. He had told him that there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. He told me that he would take me there, if I wanted to go. And for the first time, I could remember at that time, I was given hope. A bright light lit up within me.
That night I prayed and surrendered and asked that God, as I understood Him, free me from the power alcohol had over me. I never wanted to drink again. I told God that I would give up the life I had been living. And the next day alcohol was gone. Five days later I came to my first meeting.
All this changed me over time. I haven’t had a drink ever since. I have learned this program and what it is that I need to do to stay sober. It was my old sponsor, who got me to read the BB and introduced me to the Second Step. And that was the start of putting this program into action. Living a spiritual life.
Anyway, this was a great day in this program for me. The subjects were so great it is almost impossible for me to put down all my thoughts on these. Once again I was reminded that I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. Time has taken time, but I have been given so many gifts in here. All the way from peace and happiness to the one day at a time freedom from alcohol. The spiritual awakening and the restoration to sanity…and a whole lot more.
I’m so grateful that all I can say is, “Thanks”. However, in gratitude I can freely give what I have been freely given.