One of those things I can never forget came up today at our meeting. And that was the obvious. Some alcoholics, who had not lined up with sponsors. Early or fairly new sobriety. I mean up to two or three years in sobriety.
This kind of thing always gives me a feeling of people, who are fixed in their minds that they really know what they’re doing. Unfortunately I have seen this overtime. People, who are so convinced that they know, are headed for trouble down the line. Some will head back out into alcohol, and others may hang in, but are never happy. They slowly slip down into depression.
I always wish that I could convince them to do what we all learned to do back with those old timers, who are no longer around. I know I try to help them begin to tie into those, who have done this thing right early on. I look back and can remember the struggles I had, but never drank over them. And I grew up in this program over time.
We can’t hurry or rush this program no matter what. Like they pointed out to me, time takes time. We can only stay sober a day at a time. There are Twelve Steps. We are all going to have our problems with them. The first is a total surrender. One hundred percent. I had to be willing to go all the way and be willing to stop ever drinking alcohol again. And the pain within me was what helped me to make that willingness to give up alcohol.
I learned in here over time that what was the cause of total surrender was our inner pain. I was on my way to commit suicide, when someone gave me hope and it turned it all around. I became willing to surrender everything to my Higher Power so that I would never drink again. And also committed myself to the God of my understanding that I was willing to change my life totally. I woke up the next day free of alcohol. I’ve always looked at this as a miracle.
Then I had to learn from my old sponsor and those old timers that I had to begin to somehow live a spiritual way of life and acquire a Higher Power. Then I had to learn in the Third Step how to turn myself over to this Higher Power and begin to practice the rest of these Steps in here. Not easy that was for sure.
But what helped me all along was the directions and the help I got from those in here, who had a long time in here and knew what to do and how to do it. And, as I discovered, it wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, after a long time in here, I still find myself struggling and stumbling along. However it doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. I really am. I have found peace and serenity, despite of all of this. I can’t really express how much this way of life has so freely given me.
Anyway, I’m just thinking. It helps me to stop and come to peace with myself. Just want to help others to do what I found turned my life around. I know that I’m to stay sober just a day at a time. Makes me grateful to be able to do that. To learn to stay in the day and go no further. And when tomorrow comes I will do the same thing again. Amazing. Makes me happy, peaceful, and grateful.