Talking to others made me stop and think about what they were talking about. And that was worries about others, which were tearing them down. Not only that, a few were angry at others and what they thought they were doing. That made me back up and try to help them do what my old sponsor and others taught me.
One thing they wanted me to do, and I did learn, was to stay where I was at the moment. In other words I was to stay in the present moment and not wander off in my mind. Not to project into the future. I was to stay where my feet were. I was to leave everything else wherever or whatever. I learned it had nothing to do with me.
And then I learned I had to turn whatever was going on in my mind over to my Higher Power. That old statement, Let Go and Let God. I had to learn to step aside and be at peace. When I did this I found I was content. Peaceful. And had the gratitude I needed for what I had been given.
I know it is hard for alcoholics like ourselves to get out of our own egos. We often feel we want to control whatever is in front of us. Ego deflation in depth was what I was taught by those old timers. They helped cut me down to size. Made me grateful. I still look back in admiration for them. They helped me stop getting caught up in my feelings and helped me to get my feet back on the ground where I was standing. Helped me place my mind right there over and over again.
I know that I can get caught up in stuff in my head, controlled by my feelings. I had to learn to place the “I” over “E”, the Intellect over our Emotions. Every time I get caught up in my emotions, my emotions control my thinking and tear me down. I had to learn to step back and pray and ask my God to free me from these negative feelings. Then I can begin to calm down and be at peace and not into things I have no control over. The Serenity Prayer over and over again. Let go and let God. To be at peace and not caught up in war with myself and others.
How often I know I can go to that Tenth Step and look at that spiritual axiom, that whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us. I have to leave others alone and take care of what is wrong with me. Not others. Helps me to be free of resentments and such.
Anyway I had to stop and be at peace. To stay sober a day at a time. To be grateful for all I have been given. To thank my Higher Power, this program, and all those who have helped me grow along spiritual lines. Who have freely given me what I need, and which I can freely give to others, who are trying to get sober.