Sometimes I have to stop and step back, when I find myself getting mixed up in life. I know from my time in here that my life has grown in so much of a better way by staying sober and working this program. It’s very amazing to this alcoholic. However there are times, when my mind will wander off and I have to remember to turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power once again. I sometimes forget that I’m not in control anymore. Never was, but my alcoholic mind didn’t know that.
One thing I began to learn in here was that I had to begin to give up thinking and acting as if I was superior and in charge of people, places, and things. Especially in this program. Fortunately for me, particularly when I was made secretary of my old group, I was very distinctly told that I was there to serve the group and not make decisions to change the group. My sponsor told me that I had to learn to practice doing what this group needed. Over time in here I have become more aware of why we are here and what we need to do…and not do.
One of those things I learned was that I’m here to cooperate with alcoholic members like myself to continue to support this program and to keep it alive and well, in order to help us stay sober, and to help others like ourselves to get sober and stay sober. Again I had to learn that this spiritual way of life is what so basic to this program. That the God of our understanding is in charge. We’re here to be of service, not control.
What has helped me to live and learn are all those in here, who are committed to staying sober in this program and are willing to support it the way the Twelve Traditions spell out for us. We are all part of the spiritual life in this program. And I had to learn how to step back and help others like myself to continue to do what we need to do to make this program stay on track the spiritual way of life has laid down for us.
Anyway I was thinking about this today, while we were supporting others who need our love and care. It definitely made me aware, once again of who and what I am. I’m here to stay sober one day at a time. To be willing to follow what I have learned to do. To be part of this program and practice humility and unity in being of service to and with others like myself. Makes me grateful to all who have helped me to remember why I am here and what it is I need to do a day at a time. And that basically began with the Second Step, where I learned to begin to live a spiritual way of life and to be willing to live and be of service to my Higher Power, and my fellow alcoholics.