One of those essentials for us alcoholics comes up from time to time. And that is the First Step. It’s really the most important Step of all of them. That’s because without it, we probably wouldn’t be here. Moreover, it may remind us why we are here, but it can awaken some of the newcomers and help them to surrender and give up drinking.
We talked about this today and I heard a lot of good things from old timers and some fairly new people in this program. I think most of us were reminded of how this Step came into our lives and stopped us from drinking alcohol. I know that was so important to me. It saved my life, even though I knew nothing about it. Back then I knew nothing about this program. Nor did I really know anything about alcoholism. All I did know was that I was going to kill myself, because I could not stop drinking no matter what. I was depressed and in despair. I need to stop and think about a few people, who were important in the change of my life and thinking.
I know that after I was in this program for a while I learned that I needed to surrender one hundred percent, in order to stay sober. And I did, like I said, even though I was totally ignorant of this program and what it is about. As I was going out of the bar I was in, the bartender grabbed me and asked if he could help me. Never forgot about him. He went next door to where I worked and brought a man I worked with and also drank with over. He told me that the day before he was treating an older man, who complained that he could smell alcohol on my friend and wondered why he was doing what he was doing and drinking in the morning. Turned out he was an AA member and told my friend about getting sober and where the meeting he went to was and when.
That gave me hope and I went home and prayed and surrendered one hundred percent. I begged God to take the alcohol away from my life and that I would do anything He wanted me to do. I totally gave up. And the next day I was free from alcohol and have never had a drink since then. Five days later I came into the program with my friend.
Ever since then I began to learn and do what was necessary to stay sober a day at a time. I know I totally changed my life. I’m not the person, who came through these doors. I know that I’m still a human alcoholic and not a saint. And I know that I’m very imperfect, despite all that has happened. I know that I am happy and at peace with myself most of the time in here. And I do know that my imperfections will keep popping up the rest of my life. I was taught that by my old sponsor and those old timers in here. And they are right. All I need to do is to pick myself up and start my day over. To go to the positive and rid myself of the negative, with the help of my Higher Power.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this, because it is so important to me. Not just me, but everyone in this program. I am so grateful to my Higher Power, my old sponsor and those old timers, plus the rest of those in here, who help me over and over again. I need to say “thanks”.