One of these most difficult things I find I have to do are inventories. I know that one of the things, which cause me to go through these are things like guilt, or fear, or anger, or worry. What often helps me to do these things are my talking to others like myself. Prayer, of course is most important. Often seeking forgiveness.
However, one of the most important is the spiritual axiom in the Tenth Step in the 12&12, which tells us that whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us…not someone else. And often times, I have found, that this relates to my negative emotions. For instance resentments, which oftentimes are totally untrue.
Trying to live this spiritual life in here is what has helped me to change all of this. And that’s where I began to learn not to get caught up in negative emotions, which rule our thoughts, and often our actions. Putting our thoughts in charge and not allowing these emotions to be running our lives. Like the BB and those old timers, my old sponsor, pointed out to me, what I witnessed myself, sober alcoholics going back out and drinking again, because these emotions are running their lives. I have seen that, and often deaths which were a result.
And, once again, these thoughts are reminders to this alcoholic, to stop and stay sober one day at a time. It’s what presents me with what I definitely need, the reminder to myself, why I am here in the first place. To be willing to do the will of my Higher Power, to stay sober and help other alcoholics to hopefully achieve sobriety. To continue to practice hope, faith, and love in my life for others. To be willing to also achieve humility. To get out of my own way and achieve compassion for others.
Anyway, I know I need to be grateful for all which has been given to me, especially the miracle of being given sobriety. I know I really didn’t earn it. Desperation allowed me to surrender my drinking alcohol to my Higher Power. It saved my life and gave me the opportunity to grow along spiritual lines, and allowed me to be happy and at peace most of the time. I need to thank the God of my understanding, and all those, who have helped me in here.