One of those things, which came up in our meeting today, from the Eleventh Step in the 12&12, was the spiritual life. It always is the one which reminds me of the Ninth Step in the BB, which says that the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
It’s this stuff, which makes me step back and take a deep breath. I know that I’m still caught up in wrestling with this way of life. That’s what still hangs on in my thoughts. Still struggling. Not easy. But then I remember what those old timers told me a long time ago, that we are not saints. We’re human alcoholics, who will find ourselves stumbling and bumbling and tumbling, and have to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and keep on keeping on by staying sober a day at a time.
People did not talk about that today, but each in their own way did. It made me once again stop and think about this imperfection we all get from time to time. I know that I have to wake up and stop and try again and again to live this way of life…spiritually.
One thing I know is that the reason I got sober was that, the God of my understanding removed the alcohol from my life, when I went and turned my life over to him. And, when my old sponsor opened the door to the Second Step in the BB in my life, I needed to begin to live a spiritual way of life, and to grow in love and caring to my Higher Power. I was freed from that awful, terrible way of life I had been given by alcohol, which had driven me to the step away from suicide. I had been given hope and I knew I had to surrender and somehow grow in faith…and eventually love.
I still remember a deeply spiritual man stated that I had to grow first in hope, which would lead me to faith, and eventually love. I was told that I had to grow and maintain all three of these in my life. For the most part I still think they are there. Just thinking about them helps.
And then one of these things I have to remember is that I have to take my staying sober seriously. I was told I had to live a sober life one day at a time. To do that I have to maintain those three graces in my life. And that’s where prayer and meditation comes in. And then I have to remember I need to step back and get my ego out of my way and start to grow in humility. Not easy, but do-able, if I am willing, a day at a time.
Just needed to stop and think about all of this.