The subject today brought out what we all were like, when we came into this program, and how we changed from what we were to the point we are at today. And this subject was about one of the most important needs this program has, the First Tradition, about the need of AA unity. If we are to stay sober and live a good life, we need to have the group united in its purpose to help us all stay sober a day at a time.
I know from being in this program and able to watch what has happened to groups, which collapsed because they fell apart from lack of unity, and many did get drunk again, and eventually died. Some did come into other groups and changed, getting their egos out of the way, and uniting with the members of the group, which helped them to continue staying sober, and helping people who wanted to get sober.
We all talked about what it was like coming into this program and learning to change, so that we could stay sober and unite in our purpose to maintain the life of the group and, help not just each other, but anyone who needed our help. And part of all of this are the Steps and the spiritual way of life, whatever that is for each one of us.
Like others today, I talked about what was wrong with me, when I came in and how I changed and became part of the groups I have joined and gone to. At first I thought I knew what I was doing. I can remember how those old timers back then had to tell me to shut up. I didn’t really know what I was saying. And they boldly told me I didn’t. I needed help, but I didn’t understand that. My negative emotions were ruling my life and running my mind. And, I had an over-sized ego, which needed to be deflated.
My first sponsor was not united to the group. He went out and drank again and died. It shocked me and made me ask for help from my second sponsor, an old timer who knew what we were about. He told me, right up front, that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. And for some reason, that woke me up. I knew what he was saying and realized for the first time that I needed help. And I got it.
He also recognized that I had an over-sized alcoholic ego. And he and those old timers were able to cut my ego down, so that I could begin to understand what they were talking about. I had begun to listen, as I had failed to do before, when I came in.
They came to realize that I knew nothing about AA or alcoholism. I was totally ignorant. Yet I had surrendered to the God of my understanding, and I was given the gift of freedom from drinking alcohol. One-hundred percent. But that was all. Somehow I was convinced I knew what I was doing. And I didn’t.
And that’s when my second sponsor came in and introduced me to the Second Step. I learned that I had to learn to live a spiritual way of life. That opened the door to this program for me. I was able to come to believe in a Higher Power and to depend on him. To be willing to change and pray, have faith, and hope, and begin to develop what I really didn’t understand. And that was love.
I also had to learn that I was not just to read the BB, I had to study it. I then learned that I had to be quiet and listen to all those old timers and others in here, who had time in this program and were working the Steps. I also learned that I not only had to pay attention and listen, but I had to commit and begin to stay sober one day at a time.
These were all wake up calls for me. And I began to learn that time takes time. Not an overnight way of life. Just a day at a time. And I was going to have to change and become committed to living this program as best as I could. I had to learn how to become part of why I am here.
I am here to stay sober a day at a time. I need to learn to be very grateful for my being sober and able to stay sober. I have been given gifts I so desperately needed. Happiness and peace of mind. Compassion and caring and willing to help others like myself. I realize that I’m not in charge. I’m just part of and need to be united with all the others in here, who want to stay sober. And I also need to give thanks to my Higher Power, and my old sponsor, and all those who have helped me over time in here.