One of the great benefits of this program is There Is A Solution. I can remember my first BB. I opened it and there was this chapter entitled just that: There Is A Solution. I saw that and was thrilled and filled with so much hope it was almost unbelievable. Here I was, desperate to solve my alcohol problem, and the book told me that there was a solution.
Sure enough, I found the solution. My alcohol problem was arrested, not cured, but suspended; put on hold a day at a time. But that was not the end of the solution. There was more to be revealed.
My sponsor used to say to me and others that we were insecure, immature, and oversensitive. It was true. I never forgot him telling me this. I had another problem I wasn’t aware of, but grew to know: Immaturity, insecurity, and oversensitivity.
When I first came in I suffered from what I called paranoia. I was so insecure that I thought everyone was looking at me and talking about me. It was all about me. I was hypersensitive. I was afraid of what people thought about me and was worried that I didn’t look well or act well. What if I made a mistake?
What would others think?
My character defect of perfectionism grew by leaps and bounds. That was until my sponsor began to talk to me about learning to develop a thick skin. That was when I began to learn that by practicing these principles in all of my affairs that there was a solution for a lot more than just the alcohol. There was a solution for all kinds of problems. And the solution was the same as it was for the alcohol. It was spiritual. It began in the Second Step. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
I have to remember that this is about us. It’s a we program. I was told that I never had to be alone ever again. I had my higher power, the God of my understanding, and people just like myself here to help me, when I was in need. Here was the answer to my problem with my feelings and emotions, which are at the root of most of my problems. Through the application of the steps to my life, with the help of others, I have achieved a level of serenity and peace of mind. I have joy in my life. I am conscious of God and others. I am grateful. I was never any of these things before. And I don’t drink or have a desire to drink. I am sober and aware.
And, oh, that thing about developing a thick skin? My sponsor told me to stop taking myself so seriously. I wasn’t all that important.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today.