Relieve me of the bondage of self. Those words from the Third Step prayer often come to mind. What a self centered and selfish person I dragged into this program. It was all about me. Poor me. Filled with “justifiable anger”.
Thank God for my sponsor and all those old timers back then. They certainly took their shots at me and punctured that balloon I called my ego. Ego deflation in depth. It was just what I needed.
I still need that to be reminded of who and what I really am and not what I may think I am. Getting cut down to right size was and is good for me.
However, I still think back to that day so many years ago, when a woman named Peggy came down to that club in Riverdale, Md. She had unsuccessfully tried to stop drinking many times. In fact I had seen her drunk a couple of days before that. I remember the desperation in her eyes that day.
Anyway, when she came to the club that day, she had a BB in her hand. She came up to me and asked if we could sit someplace and read the Third Step prayer together. I was dumbfounded. For one thing I had missed the passage she pointed out to me, where it suggests we read and say the prayer with someone else.
I finally agreed and we sat and read the prayer together. And that was it. She never drank again. She’s still sober after all these years and the last I knew she was still active and a grateful advocate of the Twelve Steps. I can still see her sitting at the head table, leading a meeting on a Step and referring to the BB in front of her, as she did.
As I sat in the meeting today the thought of the Third Step was in my mind. So was the thought of Peggy and what was probably a spiritual awakening for her. Probably me too. I am so grateful for these kinds of experiences, which have helped in my staying sober. Seeing someone have such a complete surrender and sharing in it, though I had no idea at that moment, is truly a blessing.