Oh, those promises. The ones in the Ninth Step. A new freedom and a new happiness and all the rest. And the one, which many of us desire, that the fear of economic insecurity will leave us.
Thinking back to when this program started, it was during the Great Depression of ’29, which was still going on in the ’30s. In fact there was an even bigger dip in ’34. Yet those early members got through it and stayed sober. And, Bill tells us that during the ’40s, when many of them had to go fight in World War II, they stayed sober.
Fear was ever present in my drinking days. And, when I came in the booze was gone and I didn’t have anything to kill the fear, which I dragged in with me. Only by committing myself to this spiritual program and working the Steps did the fear diminish. The answer to my fears, I found out, was spiritual. And it worked. Especially in the case of my fear of economic insecurity.
Some fear will always be present. In fact, without fear I would be reckless with my life and could possibly drink again. I should be cautious in a lot of circumstances life presents to me. I could, for instance, step off the curb and into oncoming traffic. But fear steps in and prevents me from taking such an action. Fear in many cases is natural and a requirement in my life.
However, some fears are unnatural. They reside in my mind. Projecting into the future is one way of scaring the hell out of me. “What if?”, for instance. But, if I stay in the day, as directed, I will avoid such thoughts. The promises have become a reality in my life, as a result of applying these Steps and attempting to live by spiritual principles.
But the moment I let my imagination and my alcoholic thinking to take over, I can begin to lose some or all of these promises. Even the one at the beginning of the Tenth Step, which tells me that by this time sanity will have returned. That’s because I can become so overwhelmed by fear my imagination has drummed up that I can stop depending on a higher power. I can be once again in charge and living on my unaided power all by myself.
The solution to all of this is so simple. First off I have to stay in touch with my fellow alcoholics, my higher power, and trying to maintain my spiritual condition daily. If I will do that and try to follow the directions in the BB and from my sponsors, I can reduce the fear factor in my life. The promises will return and I will be on a firm footing in sobriety again.
I was thinking about this after I heard someone talking about their fear of economic insecurity. My thoughts are not theoretical. I know this from my own experience.