This morning I began to think about the message. The reason I did was because I remembered a Twelfth Step I was sent on a long time ago. What came to mind was that, when I was talking to the man I went to see, I realized that I didn’t really know what the message was. I had only been in the program six months.
That led me to think about my sponsor, who talked to me about the Twelve Steps. He was talking about the message they sent to others like myself. What he wanted me to notice was the way they were written. Not in the present tense and not in the future tense. They were written in the past tense. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…” “Came to believe…”
The reason they were written that way, he told me, was because those first alcoholics wanted the newcomer to know that this is what they did to get sober. That, if you wanted what they had, you had to do what they did. That was the message. There was a solution and this is how you get it.
He told me that it wasn’t a program of this is what you should do or must do, but one of how you do it. This is what we did.
I don’t always think about this. I guess that’s because I hear the Steps being read at almost every meeting I attend. I’m so used to hearing them read that even when I read them I forget about the way they were written and why. This is what we did.
I was thinking how powerful that message is. How subtle. If you want what we have you’ll do what we did. And that worked for me. I definitely wanted what they had. I desperately wanted sobriety and became willing to do what they did, even though there were times I balked and wanted to delay the process. Fear I guess. Fear of what I would find out about myself. Fear of what others might find out about me. Just self centered fear. But, if I wanted what they had, I had to do what they did.
I can now say I did what they did and, if someone wants what I have, they’ll do what I did. What we all did to get sober. It’s summed up in the words “our experience, strength, and hope”.
Today I hopefully continue to do what they did. I know that those who did stayed sober and that’s still what I want. To stay sober.