What does it mean to be sober? That was the subject of our meeting today. Respondents to that brought up all kinds of stuff. I could hardly keep up with all the thoughts. Complex and somewhat confusing. Maybe that was due to quite a few “new” people being called on.
I know what I thought and I know it was true of a few with long time sobriety. For me it was in the BB and the Twelve Steps. Plus the 12&12.
I had learned all this from my old sponsor and a lot of old timers back early on in the program. After the First Step I was introduced to the Second and that was the one which opened the door to the rest of the Steps. That introduction began the quest for me to what was going to be a spiritual way of life. Cleaning up my act I finally reached that Ninth Step. And that’s where I ran into those words, The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
And that describes being sober to me. That is what I’m supposed to be doing. Living a spiritual way of life. After all I’m told the my sobriety is dependent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. It’s not complicated. In fact it’s simple. Not easy, but simple. That’s what I was told and for me it’s the truth.
Do I do it well? Hardly. I struggle from time to time to maintain this way of life. Sometimes I think I’m getting dumber. What I thought I knew seems to have faded. I find that I still have so much to learn. I’m not talking about studying a lot of stuff, which complicates it for me. I still find I have to keep it simple. Basic.
What I have found is that if I do what I was told on a daily basis, based on what’s in the BB, that I haven’t had to take a drink. I rarely, if ever, think about a drink. I’m not really attracted to alcohol. And that is what, for me, is beyond my wildest dreams. In fact a miracle, as far as I’m concerned.
While the talk was going on I thought about the chapter There Is A Solution. There was Dr. Carl Jung, talking to that young man. The one with a chronic alcoholic mind. My mind. He introduced him to the solution, a spiritual experience. And the young man found it and got sober and brought the message to Ebby T. And we all know what happened after that. Or should. It’s in the BB.
I really don’t know if I was seeking a spiritual experience. I do know that the words “spiritual awakening” is what is in the Twelfth Step. Having had one. And I believe that’s exactly what happened to me. Took a while to understand what happened to me, but today I know that’s what I had, which got me free of alcohol and on the way in this program.
If nothing else, as I was sitting and thinking about all of this, I have to express my gratitude for all that has been given to me. Thanks to my Higher Power and all those people, who supported me through all the difficulties I had. I was shown what to do. And all of this is what being sober means to me.