One of the truths in this program was probably the hardest for an alcoholic to take. That we had to surrender to the fact that we were powerless over alcohol. Hard to swallow to say the least.
I was reading the First Step in the 12&12 today where that truth is stated. And the reason is, as that Step points out, that if the alcoholic coming into this program does not accept our being powerless as a fact, the truth, then they probably will have no chance of recovery and of being lost in alcohol.
And the Step also talks about the humility we have to acquire to do that. Surrender and acceptance. And yet it points out that it is the beginning of strength. A strength that will not only allow us not to drink again, but to change our whole life and find a happiness we never conceived of.
The reason I went back and read that today was because I was reminded by a fairly new man this morning what it was like back, when I came in. I know that it’s easy to forget, but I never want to.
There’s another part to that Step. which reminds me that without hitting a bottom and hurting so bad, being in such pain, that we might slide by surrender. We might never take the Steps on which our recovery is based. Never reach the point where we finally realize that to drink is to die. And never learn to listen as only the dying can.
I was thinking how fortunate I was that I finally reached the point that I was in such a dark state within. In total despair. And then when a man told me that there was a way out I was given hope and surrendered. Never ever want to forget that moment which changed my whole life. It saved my life. I did come here and listened as only the dying can.
Every time I talk to new people I hope they are in the same place I was back then. In such pain that all they can do is surrender. Hopefully listening as only the dying can listen. Willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. And then getting the strength they need, just as I did. What a gift.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this and just how grateful I am that I was given the opportunity to do this and I did. Have to thank my Higher Power and all those, who reached out and helped me to continue in this way of life. Again it’s all about sobriety and I never want to forget that.