Today a friend of mine and I talked about the importance of meetings. Certainly during the meeting that was part of what was being stressed because of the presence of a new man. However I cannot be more impressed with the need for meetings for myself.
I remember my sponsor who taught me the importance of meetings. And, when I stop and think about it, all I have to do is to look around and see what happens to so many people, who stop going to meetings. I know for certain that I never want the results which happen to them.
Of course one of the main results of staying away from meetings are those who drink again. My take on what I have witnessed over time is that this is what happens to most of them. I know that there are a lot of reasons they come up with why they stop going. One of them, the most dangerous is resentments. I’ve talked to some of them, who came back and told me what happened. Whatever the reason, they got angry at a member or members, got a resentment and pulled away from meetings. The end result was a drunk and that sometimes led to their death. My first sponsor was one of these people.
Another cause is complacency. Over time things get better and the person feels so much better that they think they are in a stage of recovery from this disease. So much so that they feel that they don’t really need the program that much anymore. They withdraw and stop meetings. Eventually they stop reading the BB and practicing these principles in all of their affairs. And then prayer and meditation fall by the wayside. Some drink, but others don’t but they go off in another direction.
I was told by my sponsor and a lot of those old timers that falling away from the program and sobriety is the reverse of getting sober. Getting sober is in stages. The first is physical. We begin to dry out of the alcohol we have been drinking. We go through stages of detoxification. The next stage takes time like the first. We begin to recover mentally. Eventually the insanity we dragged in with us begins to lift and clear. But that is helped a lot by the third stage, which is spiritual. The beginning of the Steps in this program.
Pulling away from meetings often begins a reverse process. In time the spiritual is the first to go. Stopping a dependency on a Power greater than ourselves. Then our mental health starts to slip away and crumble. And finally we are left hanging on by our finger nails.
How do I know all of this? From people who went through this process and were willing to come back and recover from going out and drinking again. Others, who didn’t drink, but came back after a few months or years, describe the creeping in of insanity in their minds and their feelings. Often fear and anger dominating them.
And the return to meetings turns out to be uncomfortable for a while. Not that they aren’t welcomed back with open arms. Their thoughts and feelings are like those of a stranger, which only time can repair.
Why bother with all of this? Because it’s a process I have witnessed over and over again in time and I need to stay aware of what it is I need to do to stay sober. As my sponsor pointed out to me, I can’t stay sober by myself. I need the help of others. I need to attend meetings and hear what it is I have missed or forgotten. I need reminders. And meetings are the source of these reminders. I need to continue to build acquaintances in this fellowship. Friends whom I care about and who care about me. Like the man I was talking to today. The men and women around me at the meeting today, with whom I was able to share fellowship.
As I sit here thinking about all of this, I find myself experiencing gratitude for all that has been given to me. And, as I said yesterday, one of the ways I have of expressing this gratitude is to attend meetings with others like myself.
Still thinking about staying sober.