Been squeezed for time with family visitors. So my mind has been other places. But I did get help with this today from an old friend, who has been facing difficulties. Ones we all face from time to time.
It reminded me of the worst of situations, which can happen to any alcoholic. Distractions which pull us away from meetings and people. And these distractions are aided and abetted by emotions. Anger, resentments, worry, anxieties, fear, and other things which restore the past back into our lives. Things that make us uncomfortable and over time begin to corrupt us.
The worst part of this is the state of mind I know we can get into. Pulling us back into the danger of that next drink, while we’re totally unaware of this descent back into the hell of drinking again.
What all this reminded me of was the answer. The solution, which is spiritual. Doesn’t matter what I may or may not think of as “practical”. I have found in this program that, if I want to stay sober there are certain things I know I must do. One is to go to meetings. To renew myself in prayer and eventually meditation. The Eleventh Step. But that needs to be preceded by the Tenth. Eventually back into the Twelfth. Being able to give this gift away to others in need of this.
I was reminded of the group’s primary purpose. To carry the message to the alcoholic, who still suffers. It also made me think that the one who suffers may be people just like myself, who have been around for a while. The answer is always the same. The solution, as said before, is always spiritual.
I was glad for the reminder I got today. I owe so many “thanks” for all I have been given. It all started with the day I got sober and continues on today. I pray I never forget any of this. And, if I continue to do what I have been doing, I know I will be all right. But it takes paying attention to what is wrong with me to begin with. I’m and alcoholic and there is no cure for my disease. Again the solution is spiritual. Just thinking.