One thing I often don’t spend too much time thinking about is something I really think is important, when it comes to our sobriety. And that is arriving at some point in here where we are comfortable. That’s the way it has been for me and others I have talked and shared with over time.
What reminded me of this is the prayer of St. Francis in the Eleventh Step in the 12&12. It is also a reminder to me what my role is in here. A universal prayer I can see why Bill W. went to this prayer. As far as comfort goes the prayer says, Lord grant that I may seek to comfort than to be comforted. And to me that is part of what I’m supposed to be practicing in here. I received that from others after I was in here.
Took a while for me to recognize what those old timers were providing me with. But eventually I found to my amazement that I was becoming comfortable in these rooms with those in here. I think I first became aware of it when I would come to a meeting with a heavy heart. My shoulders weighted down by the problems I was carrying. I would sit in these meetings and as they went on I would slowly become aware that the weight I was carrying was being lifted off of me. I was amazed that I was gradually comfortable. That still is available to me, if I will come in and sit quietly listening to what is going on in the meeting.
Earlier today I was thinking about others I know who have been suffering from discomfort. One problem or another is on their shoulders. Makes my mind go to where they’re at and what they’re going through. When it’s like this I sometimes will go to the phone and call them to see where they’re at. I know exactly what my purpose is at that moment. To do whatever it takes to provide them with what they need. Comfort.
I find most of the time that they are suffering from what I’m so familiar with. I know my sponsor would take me to task the minute I would share things with him. One of the first things he would point out to me was that I was in today and not tomorrow. And he would pull me back to right where I was at the moment. I would have these anxieties or discomfort with something I was anticipating to happen down the road. He would tell me to step back and relax. To get comfortable with myself. Nothing was happening now, at this moment.
Then he would share with me some of his experiences about the same things. Over time I found out how right he was. By the time whatever it was was going to happen, nothing did or it turned out to be totally different than I expected. Usually positive. And over time I have tried to put this into action in my life. To step back and stop struggling with things I have no power over. To look at where I am at this moment. To relax and get comfortable with myself.
My sponsor and so many others did exactly what St. Francis asked to become. A giver of comfort to others rather than seeking it. And basically the truth is that as a result of this I often have found myself relieved of many things in my life. Not seeking to go there but to be thinking about others, who are suffering at the moment. Part of that Twelfth Step. To carry the message I have been given by my sponsor and those old timers I knew back then. Compassion.
It all goes back to this spiritual way of life I have been introduced to in this program. Beginning with that Second Step. Having become to rely on my Higher Power. The result of which is that I have definitely been able to begin to practice these spiritual principles in all of my affairs. Or as best as I know how. Putting into practice what I have learned from others.
Again it is what I learned was what I have to do to continue to stay sober a day at a time. I was given hope in this program and that hope has become a way of faith for me. Faith that this program has provided me all that I need. Beyond my wildest dreams. Hard to explain. But, when I find myself comfortable, I know what it means for me. And I try to take that to others, as I have been shown by example what it is that I need to do.
I often go back to that statement in the Ninth Step, that the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. And I often try to do that by putting this program into action as I have been shown.
Anyway, this is what came to mind as I was thinking about staying sober. Makes me grateful.