Couldn’t help but think about the word complacency today. Means self satisfaction with a total unawareness of the danger lurking just out of sight. I got a look at it and couldn’t help but feel for the one suffering.
I know that back many years ago I almost slipped into this phase. Fortunately for me I was pulled back and warned about just how dangerous this kind of feeling and thinking was to someone like me. An alcoholic. I learned that those who slip into this often wander off and often get drunk and die from what alcohol does to them.
I know it’s all right to feel comfortable in this program. In fact I should. However anything beyond that, which tells me I’m all right and am beyond what goes on in this program and that I no longer need the help I found in here, is the beginning of a possible fatal trip back to a drink again. It happens because the person suffering from this delusion have convinced themselves that they’re cured of whatever was wrong with them.
Of course what I have learned and totally believe, because I have seen the results, there is no cure for this disease. It’s been passed on from generation to generation. I know exactly where it came from. I’ve seen members in my family suffer terribly from the effects. I’ve seen the mental damage and the fatal ends. I have also seen it over and over again in this program. I know I never want to forget what happened to my first sponsor and some of our friends early on. Drinking followed by death. That’s not where I want to go.
One of my favorite sayings in this program is that I can’t stay sober by myself. My old sponsor put that into my head one night, when I was over confident with what I was saying about a friend of his. I know he planted that in my mind and it has never gone away. Not only that, I had his example of good sobriety and that of other members, who lived a long and sober life and died sober. His widow, who had at least 56 years in sobriety, passed away at 90. She was sober up until the end of her life. I know because, like a lot of my other friends, I stayed in touch with her and was gifted with her wisdom. Never want to ever forget that.
I didn’t come here to ever drink again. I came because alcohol was destroying my life and that of those around me. I couldn’t stop drinking on my own and I needed all the help I could get. It began with the God of my understanding. Moreover I know that if I wasn’t happy as a result of coming into this program I probably would have been gone a long time ago. I also know it wasn’t all that easy to adapt to this way of life. But I also learned in here from my sponsor and those old timers that nothing happens overnight. Time takes time I learned. And I had an awful lot of awful thoughts and habits I had to overcome as the result of my drinking alcohol. If there is anything like a perfect alcoholic, that was me.
However, like millions of alcoholics, who came here and got sober, I have learned the solution to this disease. It’s spiritual in nature. And that’s why one of my favorite subjects is the Second Step. I never ever want to forget what that Step has done for me. It opened the door to a new way of life for me. I know it began a change within me, which has begun to make a new person out of me. As a result of working these Twelve Steps into my life and sharing that with others, I had a spiritual awakening. I was restored to sanity, as far as alcohol is concerned. And I have received all the gifts this program has offered me. The Promises, a new freedom and a new happiness was the beginning in the Ninth Step. And that’s when I stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol.
No, I never want to reach a level of satisfaction. It’s one thing to be happy and content, but I don’t want to slip into that danger zone of believing that there is nothing wrong with me. I don’t ever want to forget what’s wrong with me. I’m an alcoholic and there is no cure for what’s wrong. It will be with me the rest of my life. However the solution I have found in here, if I continue to practice what I have learned, will keep me sober. I just need to live a spiritual way of life depending on and having faith in my Higher Power.
This program will always have a time line of a day at a time. I only have to do whatever it is I need to do this day and no other. If I will only keep my mind on where I am at the moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here yet. Now is the time.
Anyway I was thinking about staying sober and being grateful for what I have been given.