Once again things from the past have reminded me of what’s important. Things our sponsors and old timers taught us. Again it’s up to me to remember these and to put them in the front of my mind, if I want to stay sober.
One of those seems to be a contrary message, as far as my ego is concerned. But looking back, as I said, today I can see why I need to remember this. We go to meetings and hear that the new comer is the most important person in the room. In a sense it’s true. But in another sense it’s not. The fact is the most important person in the room is me.
That doesn’t mean that I’m there to puff myself up and becoming self centered. I don’t want to go there. However I was taught and learned the truth about placing myself first. Seems a denial of what we often hear in these rooms. But, if I fail to remember who it is that I’m trying to keep sober, then the day may come when I can slip back into alcohol once more. And I didn’t come here to do that.
I did not come here to keep someone else sober and free from the next drink. I know that it’s important to be responsible for doing the Twelfth Step and I believe I’m always willing to do that. But the only reason I’m able to do that is that I have placed myself first in terms of staying sober. That’s because I can very well recognize how important my sobriety is to me.
The truth about keeping someone else sober is spelled out in the Serenity Prayer. I cannot do for someone else what they don’t want to do or choose to do otherwise. I don’t have the power to do that. I can see that time and time again in these rooms. People who come in after having a slip. The group tries to help them open their minds and hearts to the solution we have all benefited from. And then they go right back out and drink again and again. What’s important for me is that I stay sober and don’t pick up a drink. And like others in the room I’ll be here to try to help them the next time they show up.
When it comes to my sobriety I have to remember to be selfish. My sobriety is the most important thing I have in my life and I definitely want to keep it for myself. If I do that then it’s possible I can help someone else. I do believe I have to give away this gift I have been given or else I might just lose it. However part of that is that I am doing this to preserve my sobriety. None of these thoughts get in the way of my seeking humility in this program, as long as I know what the purpose of these thoughts are. It’s not about control and a swelled head.
Anyway I was thinking about this today for several reasons. Part of that is that I have been talking to some people with long term sobriety, who have learned the importance of their sobriety and what we have to do to keep it. And the other thing was the meeting today where someone was coming back.
Once again taking the time to sit and think about sobriety. What a wonderful a gift it is to someone like me. Beyond my wildest dreams. I owe my thanks to my Higher Power and all those in here who have contributed to my sobriety.