I was thinking about the subject today, happiness and freedom, plus acceptance. And just as I sat down I got a note from a friend in another state about a young mother in another state, who was drinking and drunk in a bar and had left two children out in her car in 30 degree weather.
I hate hearing that stuff, but it’s nothing new. Just sad for everyone involved. She’ll probably end up serving time and lose the 1 yr. old and I think 4 yr. old. And it hit me how fortunate I am and others like me. There are about a million and a half of us in here and another twenty million out there.
And that brings up the subject of today’s meeting to mind. A new freedom and a new happiness. I can remember almost exactly when those promises came true for me in this program. Not that I hadn’t already stopped drinking a few years before, but it occurred when I was working that Ninth Step. All of a sudden, after I had just left the office of a man I had made amends to, I was restored to sanity. Really. I all of a sudden realized that I had stopped fighting everyone and everything including alcohol. The spiritual awakening. I was placed in a place of a new freedom and a new happiness. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol. And that restored happiness within me. Serenity and peace of mind.
All of this because I had been able to practice acceptance. That had occurred because at first pain had brought me into surrender, beginning with that First Step. And I accepted that I was an alcoholic. And following that I finally surrendered and accepted the Second Step. Then I had to surrender and accept the Third. And then all the other Steps. Not as bad on the rest, as it was with those first three.
After the meeting I got an opportunity to sit down and talk to an old friend of mine, whom I found out was having difficulties with another person, who had fallen away from meetings. Apparently they had pretty much gotten addicted to medications. Also they seemed to have sunk deep into their emotions, which now seemed to be running their life. My friend’s problem was that they had been close before, when the person was in the program and my friend wanted to help, but was frustrated by this person’s behavior.
As the conversation went on my eyes went up to the wall next to us, where the Serenity Prayer is displayed. Accepting our being powerless over people, places, and things came to mind. I mean here we were on the subject of acceptance. The question they had to face was could they accept their being powerless?
That’s something I think we all have to face from time to time. To be able to let go and turn all of this over to my Higher Power. And to remember who and what I am. I’m an alcoholic. I need to remember that. My sponsor’s widow, a woman who had almost 60 years before she died, always reminded people like myself that the most important person in my life was me. I have to remember that, if I want to stay sober. If I forget I might forget why I am here.
Meaning that I have to accept the truth.
That doesn’t mean that I will forget others. In fact, when I remember why I am here, that puts me in a position to practice these principles in all of my affairs and to carry the message to other alcoholics like myself. To practice gratitude and give of myself to others. To reach out in compassion and love.
All this because at one point in my sobriety I became willing to accept a Power greater than myself and begin to live a spiritual way of life. I came to accept and have hope and faith in my Higher Power. And I came to accept this way of life I found in here through this program. I also came to accept my sponsor and all those old timers, who helped me grow in this program.
A new freedom and a new happiness. Very much so, because of my being able to come to accept what I so desperately needed. A sober life.